this. this is why contracts are so long, disclaimers must be read, and professionals hate their lives.
I am disappoint
I HATE THE HUMAN RACE
I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or get drunk…..
Get drunk, my new life philosophy
Gebrek aan originaliteit heeft men immers overal ter wereld, sinds onheuglijke tijden, altijd aangezien voor een meest voortreffelijke eigenschap en beste aanbeveling voor een man van de daad, van de praktische daad en in ieder geval is het zo dat negenennegentig van de honderd (en dat op zijn minst) altijd die mening toegedaan zijn geweest, en dat misschien maar één percent van de mensen het nooit heeft kunnen laten om een andere kijk op de zaak te hebben.
midgardian etiquette 101: when going to their homes, hang your coat first or in some cases, your mjolnir.
naw maybe it’s actually asgardian custom to check your weapons at the door
It was medieval custom to check your weapons at the door of the meadhall before greeting the king of the place you were going to. It was courteous and showed respect. You can see it in Beowulf.
what i don’t understand is how that hook can hold the mjolnir.
the hook is worthy
the hook is worthy
Peter Pan would disagree.
I’ve not read the comics but I always figured Mjolnir wasn’t heavy so much as stubborn, and if it decided it didn’t wanna move it just wouldn’t. It sits on Loki, rather than crushing him in Thor 1, and in Avengers it rests on the floor of the ship, and trying to pick it up Hulk starts breaking the floor with his weight, but Mjolnir doesn’t seem to weight anything at all (If it was as heavy as Hulk implied, it would drag the whole ship to the ground right?). Mjolnir isn’t heavy, cos its not going down, instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it. Hence, the hook doesn’t hold it, it merely remains in place.
so what you’re trying to say is that Mjolnir is like a chicken head
instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it.
OK SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING
IS THAT WHEN THIS HAMMER WAS FORGED IN THE HEART OF A STAR IT BECAME A FIXED QUANTUM POINT
AND THE UNIVERSE MOVES AROUND IT—AND THOR IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE PROPER RESONANCE TO INTERACT WITH IT ON A QUANTUM LEVEL
AND SO HE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE LEVERAGE REQUIRED TO SHIFT THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE AROUND THE FIXED POINT THAT IS MJOLNIR
THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
DUDE YOU GUYS SCIENCED THORS HAMMER THAT IS AWESOME
i just… can’t have this not on my blog.
…Has this been done before?
THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST! I FUCKING LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS! XD
…dangerous, but oh so fun
I could see how this might have been my fault. The text might have been confusing. It simply read: “going to Barberians for dinner. I’ll be home to change first”
I can see how she’d read that into an invitation. But it wasn’t. I felt badly because she was already dressed when I got home. The long strand of pearls around her neck, and falling down atop her beautifully appointed ‘little black dress’. I didn’t even have to check, I knew that she had foregone any undergarments. She was a well trained good girl.
"I’ll make it up to you," I said. I could see the disappointment on her face. I knew it was her favorite restaurant, which only added to her discontent.
She sighed and shrugged at me, “I’ll be fine,” but the frown on her face told me otherwise.
"You look really good," I said, trying to console her. I placed my hand on her shoulder and ran my finger under the strap of her dress. I leaned in close and whispered, "good enough to eat."
I flipped the strap from her shoulder and let if fall down her arm. She turned to me and asked in a hushed tone, “you did say you owed me…Will you be late?”
I smiled and winked as I undid my tie, “go get the blindfold, your collar and restraints.”
Her face grew serious, “yes, sir. Just the hands?”
She scurried off to the closet to do as she was told. I continued to change clothes, calling out, “should I shave?”
She popped back out of the closet, shaking her head, “no. I like the stubble.”
She walked to me as I was slipping on my sport coat, handing me the collar first.
"Turn around," I said calmly as she put the rest of the accessories on a dresser.
She lifted her hair away from her neck as I tightened the collar above her pearls. I gently tugged the necklace so that it sat properly with the collar.
"Blindfold next," I said, taking the silk from the dresser. She let her hair fall over her shoulders again and I proceeded to tie the blindfold in place.
"Hands behind your back."
"Behind?" she questioned.
"Behind," I firmly responded.
"But, I lik—"
Her voice trembled, her response barely audible, “yes, sir.”
I fastened her hands with the leather restraints and took her by the arms, leading her to an armchair. I positioned the chair just right before guiding her to sit down. As she sat she instinctively closed her legs. I returned to the dresser to get the leg restraints, turning to look at her. She struggled to get comfortable with her hands bound behind her, twisting and turning.
"Open your legs for me," I ordered and she complied. She was freshly shaved and quite a sight. The contrast of her black dress, white skin and perfectly protruding pink pussy lips. I knew she was already swollen with desire. My commands were abrupt for just that reason.
"Wider," I coaxed as I walked back and knelt in front of her. I lifted the front of her skirt and folded it back to expose her a little more.
"Bring your ass a little more forward on the chair," I said almost pulling her by her calves. She was almost hanging off the chair by the time I had her positioned exactly where I wanted her.
"Almost perfect," I said as I admired her. I decided against the ankle restraints. I think the spreader bar was more appropriate for my devious plan. I returned to the closet and back to her in the chair, kneeling in front of her again. I pressed my nose into the pubic area just above her pussy and inhaled deeply.
"Is it bad that I can smell just how horny you are?" I asked. My words caused her to bite her lip and clench her legs just a little. She squirmed in her seat and moaned at me just a little. I fastened her left leg in the cuff attached to the spreader. I put the bar behind the legs of the chair and pushed her right leg back to be fastened.
With both hands on my ankles I traced my fingers up the insides of her calves. I kneaded at the flesh just above her knees, and pushed my hands up so they rested at the tops of her thighs. My thumbs slowly moved up and down pressing on the outside of her lips. I gulped, loudly, and began moistening my lips, letting her hear the noises.
"Oh, I almost forgot," I pulled back from her.
"Forgot…what?" she almost whined.
"Shit, hang on," I looked around the room, “where is there a pen?”
"A PEN?!" She exclaimed exacerbated.
"I need to write a note," I explained, "I’ll just be a minute."
I walked out of the bedroom and to my desk. I got my pen and 2 sheets of paper and walked back to the bedroom. She was a lovely sight. Watching her struggle as she was even more worked up from the delay was satisfying. Knowing there was no way for her to clench her legs, or reach down and touch herself for any relief.
I started writing my notes. The pen scratching on the paper were driving her insane. She couldn’t take the mystery. She couldn’t take the throbbing between her legs. I intentionally had worked her up. Now I was about to leave her in that state.
"Who is the note for?"
"Let me first explain. I’m late. I hate to do this, but I have to go. But I will make it up to you. I promise. Tonight. When I get back, I’m going to kneel between your legs and lick up and down. My finger is going to slip in between those swollen lips of yours and I am going to make you cum. Not once. Not twice. I don’t know how many times, but… you will be happy later tonight. I promise.
But…before I get home, I’ve written two notes. One that I’m going to tape on the front door, and the other that I’m going to tape to the bedroom door.
The one on the front door simply reads:
'Dear Josh, The front door is open. Please bring the pizza upstairs to the first door on your left. There will be a second note on that door with further instructions.'
You see, darling. I went by the pizza shop tonight and requested that boy, the one you like - Josh, deliver a pizza here tonight. He’ll be here in exactly 10 minutes. I tipped him $100 for prompt service.
The second note reads:
'Josh, inside this door is my wife. She's hungry, horny and a little tied up. On the dresser there is another 'tip' if you would take the time to feed her a slice or two of the pizza. Feel free to use her mouth, cunt and ass in any way you would like. She especially enjoys having her pussy licked and would like nothing more than to have you fuck her. Please enjoy. PS. She likes it rough.' “
Her mouth hung open, speechless. I smiled, proud of myself.
I pulled another $100 out of my wallet and left it on the dresser and said, “be a good girl. Have a great night,” before I pulled the door shut behind me.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON!
I want to make sure every one knows about this and what it can do to your pets
this is what has happened to my sisters cat after she wore a hartz flea and tick collar and now has a burn like wound on her neck. please pass this on and do not buy hartz’s products! they use poison in their products pets have died because of this!!
Yes this is my cat she is doing fine at the moment but I’m so sorry for the people who’s pets are not so lucky
oh my god
PLEASE REBLOG THIS PEOPLE
Hartz is the worse EVER! my aunt used it and it ended up killing two of her cats. only one survived but she had the worse skin condition. NEVER USE HARTZ
BETTER REBLOG THISS!!!
Guys this is an actual issue. We had Hartz collars for my dog and he kept having seizures. one seizure he had on the stairs and fell backwards down the stairs, and he also stop breathing from these seizures. When I found out about Hartz causing this I took it off my dog and he hasn’t had a seizure since. And he used to have one at least every few months. DON’T USE HARTZ.
PENTAX Corporation PENTAX Optio 450
i don’t know if the best part of this post is the excruciating sexism or the metal gear solid in the corner
Happy Batman Day!
Alcohol vs marijuana